the saddest thing about it is, i came here- as i’m sure many of you did- out of the sheer love of haven’s writing. but i didn’t come here to watch people get into cat fights. what a waste.

Quiet.

Each of us is fallible, even if our intentions were pure.

What I can say is that with this unraveling, true feelings inevitably emerge. We not only learn about how we ‘rise to an occasion’, but about our fellow humans. Humanness is the key. Nobody is perfect.

But if anyone should be given the utmost level of a ‘benefit of the doubt’ – that person should be Haven.

We have all certainly gained more joy than sorrow here. But if it is too much sorrow – each person, including Haven, has their right to choose who they communicate with. That right has been contaminated. Perhaps not intentionally.

I had a very similar crisis in March when I witnessed a ‘blog bashing’. I cried for 4 days – there was literal nashing of teeth and pulling of hair. I decided that the joy was more than the sorrow. That I didn’t want to give up the joy due to temporary sorrow. And – I decided that you all weren’t gods and goddesses of perfection. That you were human like me and, therefore, worthy of another chance.

No matter how you, or you, or you, or me, feel about something or someone, it is not right to air such dirty laundry, mouths, and attitudes here.

Guess what, Haven gets a free pass from me. She has earned it. I have chosen to love her and give her my loyalty whether she is perfect or not. The same goes to each of you. I love your fallibleness and I, therefore, give the benefit of doubt in many areas.

All of this pain is a definate sign of growth. Change. All of which is painful. I am so sad everyone is in pain.

The one thing that keeps me going – daily. Moment by moment in my life; is this:

I want to believe that people don’t intend to hurt each other. But, I’ve been disproven before.

Report on our test of humanity –

F-

Love needs to be handled delicately, like a fragile egg. Not thrown against a brick wall.

On another note: co-dependency can be a very dangerous thing. Visiting a blog/communicating – that should be joy for both the giver and the receiver. when this balance has been tipped in either direction . . . it is co-dependency on someone’s part.

I am so sad that something conceived in such hope has turned into a burden for Haven. She is not on this earth for our entertainment purposes. She is not your savior or prophet. She offered to be a friend. it is my personal opinion that she has been betrayed, whether unintentioanally or through lack of judgment.

If this had happened to me – I would have shut down my whole website and blog. And, yet – her she sits – dealing with more stress.

Think of her past year: chronic illness herself, diagnosis of her mother, the death of a dear family member, not to mention being taken advantage of by shady con artists, several ‘former’ friends . . . why on earth should she be here for us?

I’m going to be brutal here:

When I opened her PRIVATE email, I thought “well, I guess some of us are going to have to get a life/lives”.

A few of us actually have lives outside of this blog. Including the host.

Haven- your books, your words, this blog, you as person – have meant so much to me this year. I support you and any decision you make about this blog – your blog. You are in my thoughts, dear one.

Haven is a beloved author. That makes her…what? It makes her a PERSON. A person with real, human feelings. A person who should be treated with no less respect than you would give anyone else.

I get that you didn’t want to believe that there was a real issue, and that you thought an enemy was stirring up drama. Did you not consider the idea that perhaps you should go to the source instead of posting unsubstantiated claims on a public blog?

A BLOG. Not a message board. Not a chat room. A blog. Tell me, did anyone even COMMENT on the actual content of the blog this time? Perhaps the first few, but after that? For some reason, I can only assume because of Haven’s generous, open nature; people took liberties with this space that were never meant to be taken.

Please, everyone. Examine your motives. Use common sense. This whole situation reeks of middle school, and all of us are well beyond that.