Sickles the Clown

Sickles the Clown, aka Zippy,  aka Haven Kimmel, is the sister of Mooreland residents Melinda Mullens and the White Haired Man.  She’s frightened small children in the area for 43 years and is a delightful staple for all of the children hating residents of our quaint community.  (photo courtesy of M. Mullens)

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Published in: on August 18, 2008 at 7:03 pm  Comments (35)  

35 Comments

  1. Oh …I told you I told you I told you it was going to be the best birthday ever!

    Can’t you just see her fingernail on the window? Scritch…scritch…scritch….

    Oh beloved when you start unfolding thoses legs it just takes my breath away…..

  2. OH SO very very SEXY what legs baby !

    sickles not snickles hehe

  3. Terrifying. I can see why they closed the Fair.

  4. And banned Sickles off to NC

  5. THIS IS NOT A HAVEN KIMMEL APPROVED POSTING — MY BLOG HAS BEEN HIJACKED BY A BROAD-SHOULDERED FARM WOMAN WITH ONE EYE AND SIX TEETH, ALONG WITH A WEBMASTER WHO IS FEELING DELICATE AND BLOATED.

  6. Well the shoulders, the eye and the six teeth thing might be right…but that WebMaster is the berries. Be careful little one….I’ve made friends with people in some low places.

  7. Your berry-scented, traitorous, low-bellied webmaster friend got off work and rode his bicycle over here to the animal hole, and he must have been suffering an estrogen drain because he had to lie right down and rest. I feared he might have the vapours.

    IF MELINDA AND I WERE OUT RIDING HORSES, SHE WOULD GIVE ME THE ONE WHO TRIED TO KILL ME THREE TIMES. That really happened.

  8. If Melinda were such a beautiful piece of music you wanted to lie down and howl like a dog, she would be a Rod McKuen poem set to melody, and sung by Glen Yarborough.*

    *Best enjoyed through the magic of vinyl and our old friend, the ‘hi-fi.’

  9. Bless him…he’s got some stuff on his mind…some thinkin about some things that need to be done…with the farm hands and such. He’s a gooderin that webMaster! As Mom Mary would’ve said..”Pon my word an honor that un is gooder than airy an angel.” I agree…..and… I have your horse ready little soldier…Rain is wearing your name on her rump and anxious to check the fence rows. Come home…please come home.

  10. I am sorry to interject where I am not needed but Happy Birthday Melinda ! and Haven sickels made my Monday.

  11. This horse upon which my sister intends to tenderly rest my frame? Rain? Yes, that’s the horse that tried to kill her kind and dear husband. Once we were riding across her pasture and because she had given me the John Wayne Gacy horse, it bolted like lightning, intent on using a tree limb to decapitate me. To this day I don’t know why I’m still alive — I think the tree moved in fear. And when Gacy horse died Melinda called me and I said, “GOOD,” she replied, “You have no soul.”

  12. I see a resemblance to Uncle Tireisius…does anyone else see this?

  13. Maybe the horse just had something personal against you. Maybe is really a nice horsey

  14. if Melinda were a song, she would be TUBULAR BELLS. PS TO MS KIMMEL: HADES ON A RITZ!!! PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE NOT A SECRET CLOWN ON STILTS NAMED SNICKLES. OH MY GOD.

  15. Oh Good Lord!

  16. I would just like to point out that Miss ‘I’d Like Some Mayhem For My Birthday’ has
    caused terror and trauma for my pious fans. Suzanne, in particular, uses this as her Safe Place when she is either having a bad dream or getting a tattoo. SHAME ON YOU, Spindey Loo Hoo of the Mooreland, Indiana Loo Hoos.

    George, Sickles and Uncle Tiresias are related through their mothers, who are sisters, and also through their paternal grandfathers, who don’t have the same last name. They split the family identity so they could intermarry; a popular ruse on the plains.

  17. how can i possibly chan smoke and laugh and have a nervous breakdown at the same time? melinda, you are a SAINT. i believed haven was SNICKLES. i BELIEVED. good GOD.

  18. melinda makes Chuckie the Doll look like a WEDDING FAVOR. she makes charles manson seem INERT.

  19. It’s true, she wrote me in horror, begging me to tell her how I could do such a thing. And do you know WHY, Melinda? Because if I could become Snickles with his Scythe, then it would turn out that nobody really knows me. You’ve shaken up
    some delicate constitutions, Melinda of the Dark Corners.

  20. i’m swallowing xanax like Pez. it;s going to take two blue ones to knock me to yesterday,before this happened. THANK GOD i’m in california, where drugs are free and easy to find.you just open your mail and there’s, like, a dime bag and a big old medicine chest from WWII. you look under a beach rock and there’s a chunk of rock cocaine. you crack a window, and MARIJUANA pours in from the SKY.

  21. The 9 year old really got a kick out of this one..I want you two to be my sisters.

  22. Oh, Caryl Hayes, be careful what you wish for. Remember her horses trained as assassins, the racoon, the unholy weasel. If they don’t get you, she’ll rope you into painting the kitchen cabinets. OH MY GOD, I’d forgotten the insanely vicious dog she used to have, Romulus. The neighbors shot him on three separate occasions but he was protected by the forces of darkness and survived the first two. I’d pull up at her house and she’d say, “Stupid arse! Just get out of the car!”
    And Cujo would just be running around free, he killed like 24 cats and at least one tractor, and he’d stand leg-locked and staring at me, a low growl in his throat, and all the while Splash of Sunshine is yelling, “You big idiot! I’m not talking to you until you get out of the car! He’s sweet!” It is a flat out miracle I’m still alive.

  23. This sure had me fooled.
    I am impressed by your wickedness Melinda. It rivals my own deeds done to my lil Sister.

  24. Completely off subject here, but because I’ve taken your family lore as my own on occasion,ie; when as a parent it makes a particular threat or warning more potent, I need you to retell or at least point me to the right page, the story about you stepping on a rodent as a child. It will make our current problem pale in comparison and you know it takes a village…

  25. Oh Caryl. You have brought up an event which caused my sister such demonic joy I believe her head turned around an entire rotation. There are few things in this world she enjoys than reliving the moment she asked Rick what the thing had been and he answered, “I don’t know, but it had eyes.”

    I have no idea what page it’s on. I dare not relive the event; it was so scarring it’s a wonder I didn’t end up like Sally Fields in SYBIL.

  26. That you are answering comments at 3 am is another reason why I know we were seperated at birth. Your story has kept my kids on their toes to say the least and your confirmation I haven’t made it up is good enough for me. What are you reading right now and how close are you going to get to California and I know I’m gushing but you’re bigger than the olympics at my house this week what with the clown picture and all.

  27. Well…I’ve had to work…in the daylight hours and then I need sleep because I’ve just had a birthday and I’m fairly middle old and then there’s all the hay to bale and the horses to feed and such…oh and walking in the cemetery…but I wondered…what the heck are you people doing up in the middle of the night talking to Haven about her sad life as a crazed clown…and Haven is that medication starting to work yet????? You need sleep little bit of beloved sister.

  28. I smell a ghoulish and sinister children’s book.

  29. Haven, I just finished listening to your audio book, “A Girl Called Zippy”, and I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed it. I grew up in a small town outside Cincinnati in the 50s and 60s and it reminded me so much of my childhood. You remember so much more than I do, and you have such a gift for storytelling. I’m looking for your other books now. Keep up the good work.

  30. I have insane sleeping habits, although the rest of me is of a bastion of mental health. For instance, I by accident fell asleep at 8:00 this evening with the baby, then awakened at 2 a.m. and couldn’t go back to sleep. So I ate a piece of cheese. I’m currently reading the Collected Poems of Yeats, and a biography of Ezra Pound, also The Book of Nightmares by Galway Kinnell.

    And Mrs. G., nearly all children’s books are ghoulish and cynical. It’s the way we prepare our children for their older siblings.

  31. I still use the baby exuse for being up late and mine is two-but by the time the teenagers are in and I’ve scraped my husband off his sofa cushion, up late is all I’ve got! Where can I find Orville and Kaline Klattermaster in hardback so I don’t have to steal from the library…..

  32. I’d look for my kid’s books on Alibris, although Kaline is still in hardcover in bookshops.

    I got up at five and ate some cheese, and my oldest child is older than I am.

  33. Found Kaline today so the library is spared one book. I was a child bride too.
    Thanks for always getting back to me even though this is your blog and probably not for personal corespondance I just can’t seem to help myself-and my daughter tells me I might have a problem with fan-fiction which is when you talk to/about someone famous like you know them-kind of like a stalker but not dangerous. Even so, I sign this,
    Your number one fan..

  34. There are people I would stalk; just give me a moment to think of one.

  35. I have been lying on the couch in a state of despondent ennui–to be blamed on THE END OF SUMMER and going back to life as a high school English teacher, a life I mostly love, but still–the end of summer. In this compromised state, I found your blog and was forced to laugh and laugh. Thanks–I have stalked your books and read aloud the chapter from Zippy “Qualities of Light or Disasters Involving Animals” to my students as I intro memoir writing to them, connecting my midwestern gestalt with their urban Philadelphia/vocational ag school vibe (the largest FFA chapter in the nation, baby…). You rock. And, apparently, I stalk.


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